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March 3, 1998
News Posted: March 15, 1998
Back in my good ole' Kentucky days Grandma used to send me down to the mill with a sack of corn to have it ground so we could use it for corn bread and stuffin' and what ever else she used it for, and the old man that ran the mill would grind up the bag and keep a little for himself, that's how we paid him, he would grind up twenty, thirty pounds of corn and keep a couple, or we would trade eggs or cream for other things we might need at home, hardly any money was spent all year except when we got the tobacco check or sold a hog.
Now what I'm about to say, ain't what I started to say as usually, BUT think of this, say if we still traded things, and say you had a pig farm and I had a duck farm, I wanted some pigs and you wanted some ducks and we made a trade. Now, at the end of the year when income tax time came around and we were sittin' down to figure how much we owed "Sam" would I owe "Sam" two ducks and a pig or a pig and a half or two and a quarter ducks ?.
And say now I have it figured out and I take the pig to the post office to mail, now you know as well as I do that the postage on the pig would be less than the price of a rabbit or a squirrel, so I wait in line holding one of each for an hour or so and got the pig tied to a rope attached to my belt, I get up to the window and the lady weighs the pig and says I owe her a rabbit and a half, so I run home real fast, leave the squirrel and grab another rabbit and run back and give the lady my other rabbit. Now she is into me for two rabbits, this is just making me sick trying to figure this out, How do I get my change ?, Do you have any idea the names that Bob Barker might call me if he saw me leaving that post office with a half a rabbit ?, you are not suppose to tip postal employees so the only thing I could think of to do was just leave the half a rabbit change and run out screaming>>>MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It's things like this that cause me to lose a lot of sleep..But speaking of Bob Barker, I think the whole world knows the way he feels about animals of all kinds, and even though I do not know Mr. Barker he is someone to be proud of, I heard him say on his T.V. show one time that he could not even bring himself to kill a fly. Shortly after I plucked six fleas off our dog, put them in a box, hoped in our car and drove them eight miles out in the country and let them lose.
ANYWAY...What I started to say was >> does anyone have anything they want to trade for some rain ???.
One of the best parts of our week or day is, when we get a call from our friend Wayne Rogers from down in Tennessee, he has always got some good stories and sometimes even if they are not funny, Wayne is just a fun guy to listen to, sometimes he can stretch a three line joke into about a week, and the bad part about that is, I never get to hear the punch line because I am on the floor laughing, he is a real easy guy to buy for, just send him a picture frame, now don't worry about what size, because what ever size the frame is, he has something to fit it.
Wayne never told me this because I am sure it is personal, but what I believe is, that some time in his early childhood he was captured by mask men that held him hostage,and when he finally worked the blindfold off his eyes he could see posters of the Durango Kid and Iron Eyes Cody hanging on the walls and ceiling and every where else, they had left him some food in an old ice box but when he opened it he found the slices of cheese was separated with Bill Carlisle records, at first he was really sad but over in the corner he saw this old doctors stethoscope and being the fast thinker that he is (remember I said thinker, not talker) found himself a piece of board, drove a nail through it, put the stethoscope in his ear, spun Bill Carlisle's record on a pencil, lowered the board with the nail in it...and well that's where they found him two days later, singing along with that old record and chewin' on a piece of cheese...."Do You Need Any Help, Do You Need Any Help" "I Can Handle This Job All By Myself".
Every inch of Wayne's walls are covered with pictures of cowboys and country stars that he has been given, bought, or just found their way into his place and he loves them all, a friend once spent the night at Wayne's place and when Wayne woke in the middle of the night to get a shot of water, the friend was sitting at the kitchen table, it was a little dark and Wayne forgetting he was there but seeing some blank space, hung a calendar on him.
If you are going to walk a mile for a Camel, make sure you are wearing Durango Boots:
I had to throw in that plug for you Wayne so your boss wouldn't fire ye::::
Great little publication that is put together for the employees of the Durango Boot Company or Georgia Boot Company, some of the names that were mentioned in a couple copies Wayne sent us were names that I used to play the heck out of their records when I was a' spinnin' them on the radio like, Roy Drusky and Charlie Walker and several others..we are going to have to dig them out of the record racks and start spinning them again since we are just about ready to start it all over again in Denmark and a few other countries.
THANKS ! to Ron Hancock G.M. of radio station WJKM in Murfreesboro, Tennessee for the nice fax letter he sent us, Wayne had sent us one of the radio shows from there that they had taped, I have listened to that bugger a half dozen times already, it's radio like radio should be, Harv Mason talks to people on the air and even though I did not know one person he was talking to, I felt like I did because they were talking about the things that I still miss from back home in Kentucky.
I was doing the night show on a station in Mojave and being way out in the middle of the desert late at night by myself in that Quonset hut building, when I would get tired of playing records I started doing impersonations, a few of them I got pretty good at like Freddie Hart and Amos and Andy, but one night I got a call and they said a few short words and hung up, and after that I never did Amos and Andy again, and that was a shame because I thought it was a great show and I meant no disrespect, but the caller felt different, so that left me with Freddie and a few others like Hank Snow and a few of the movie stars I can't even remember now..But if you have ever talked with Freddie Hart then you know that no-one in this world talks like him, and I can tell you this right now, God made something special when he made him, if the words Gentle Giant ever fit anyone it is Freddie Hart.
Over a pot of coffee a while back, he had just finished singing me a new song he was working on and when he finished he took a sip of his coffee and I started talking like he does, he started laughing and I thought he was going to choke on his coffee, You can not write like Freddie talks, but if you know how he talks then you can appreciate this when he said, "my goodness, you'a something' else boy" then he said "bless your heart".
ANYWAY, the point is I sure do miss that kind of radio, not only to be a part of, but to listen to kicked back at home or doing 60 down route "66".
SO, if you just might be travelin' through Tennessee and if you have one of them radios that still has a knob on it that you can turn, then turn it to AM-1090 WJKM in Murfreesboro and hear something good.
And speaking of radios, Very few things in life I don't like, I even like liver, BUT..the person or persons that invented these new radios, I wish he had one where the sun don't shine, most of them have just got 4 or 5 little buttons that you have to look at to push and you can't look at them going 60 down the road, so you just have to feel over there where your radio is supposed to be and push something, and you either turn it off because you hit the wrong button or you get a station that has long since faded out 80 miles back down the road. You don't have a knob so you can just turn the dial a little ways, you gotta push "search", and when you push "search" you either get one of two things, Rush Limbaugh or a rock and roll band who's record is being played backwards, neither of which I would trade for a good Hank Snow record of "Movin' On".
Some little towns across America have got some great little radio stations in them, and by just turning the dial a hair one way or the other you can pick them up and hear some good music or news. IF..you had a knob on your radio, you could pick up a station very easy since we all know the one that finds the station is the knob on the right you do not have to take your eyes off the road to find it, and if you did turn the wrong knob by mistake the most you would do is turn your radio up or down.
Progress ???? on some things should have stopped years ago, like cars, they used to make them out of metal, now they make them out of plastic and rubber, the first toy car I ever owned was made better, Mom fed us a can of pork and beans and Dad cut both ends out of the can and with a pair of tin snips cut it up the side and hammered and bent it into a little car, after a little paint, that little sucker lasted for years. I not only got a nice little car for a quarter but all the gas I needed from the beans.
Don Hinson told me a while back that while going through a town where he couldn't pick up any radio stations that he could understand, he stopped at a truck stop and picked him up some tapes and he had some good music the rest of his trip, I have always carried tapes in the car when we go somewhere, so now when one of us is going some place and we ask the other, "How Far Is It"? the other one answers, "2 Charley Pride, 1 Louvin Brothers and a half a Carl Smith's tape worth".
If you have ever read the story on Hank Snow's life as a child then you know it was a rough one, and the book that Stonewall Jackson wrote was not a bed of roses, and for those of us that think that just because now they are a, "quote-unquote" Star, that they have always lived the life of Riley, then, guess again. There is a story of a country singer that maybe I will never write about, mostly because unless it was done right, no one would ever in a million years believe it, but every word of the story would be true, but pretty soon we will write part of the story of Hank's early days and maybe a couple of the others because you need to know what they went through just to live the dream that was in their heart.
Country music over the years has been made fun of a lot, I guess mostly because it tells true stories that some folks don't want to hear, and that's o.k., this is America and we have a choice of what we like to hear, or who we want as friends and just about anything else, and just like everything else in this world few if any are perfect, but time and time again, in old country magazines, and new ones, on page a hundred and something or another you read that, Joe or Mary X, country artist did a benefit for farmers in America or left toys at some hospital for little kids or rebuilt a church or something else good........AGAIN, I didn't say they were perfect, BUT has anyone been reading or watching this last year or so what some of the young people out of Hollywood are doing and some of the athletes that are paid salaries 5 times or more what the President of the United States is making ? In short, some are in jail, some seem to be headed that way, Hockey players hit or slam the opponent against the wall or up-side the head with a stick, Ball players of all kinds spit on people, call them names, rush to the mound should a pitch get to close, Paint their heads, Wear earrings hanging to the collar of their shirt, let their hair and or beard grow past their collar, And... scratch places on national TV that should only be scratched behind closed doors, AND, never quit spitting pumpkin seed or goobers..and after all this, men get "teed" off because their wife or girl friend does not like or want to watch sports with them, ONE more >>> We have had some mighty purty women on the "Opry" and some good lookin' men, but in all my years growing up I have never seen or heard of any of them trying to have an ear sandwich on the stage of the "Grand Ole Opry....Maybe Hank Williams said it best as Luke The Drifter "Be Careful Of Stones You Throw".
I think, weather you might be driving down the road or in bed at night or maybe saying table grace, even if you can't make yourself say it out loud, just say it, THANKS GOD for the likes of Willie Nelson and the Garth Brooks of Country Music and all the other good people of Country Music that think of others and do something about it.
Next week, or in a couple days if we don't drown, we want to tell you about the great new Warner Mack C.D's we received.
We have some new remedies to cure some of the things you might not have known you had.
We have some new recipes on how to make good lizard soup.
And about our friend Dann Hansen in Denmark and the new Country Show coming up.
Eddie Dean is still doing pretty good, his little wife Dearest has had a hard time this past month, but is doing pretty good now, If we can get it all together we want to have a giant party for Eddie in a couple months or so, just in case....come July Eddie will be 91 years old.
If the good Lord willin' and the creeks don't rise, we'll see ye next time.
But just in case, thanks for readin' our little stories, behind the funny ones there's a little truth.
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