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News Posted: August 6, 1998
Well tonight we are going to write about some Trivia and some funny stuff and some good old remedies to cure the body and soul and just hope none of our friends die before we get this page finished, to tell the truth we are getting tired of writin' bout our friends a dyin', good ole' Eddie said the other day "worse part about livin' this dang long, you got no friends left that you worked with for all those years".
And there was a time not long ago, we would pick up the phone and say to one of our old friends like Hal Southern or one of them old Cowboys, "hey ! where in the heck is-----"? But, they ain't here no-more, so we just got to figure it out for our self.
O.K. NOW--if you have any of these things wrong with you, we gonna fix it with "DR. BUCKLAND'S Scotch*Oats*Essence (are ye ready ?) here is what it fixes, Sleeplessness, Paralysis, Opium Habit, Drunkenness, Neuralgia, Sick Headache, Sciatica, Nervous Dyspepsia, Locomotor Ataxia, Headache, Ovarian Neuralgia, Nervous Exhaustion, Epilepsy, and the , St. Vitus's Dance* +the label also goes on to say that "Sick headaches" "can" cause "Insanity"---well, we are pretty sure we know a few people that have had to many headaches, and have gone nuttier' than a fruit cake. We would have sure been able to help them with one bottle of "Dr. Buckland's S.O.A." AND--and--The best part of all is, A giant jug of this fine medicine that cures all of the above and some other things as of yet, not invented, is only (and if this ain't a deal) $ 1.00, that's right folks just one dollar, sent postage free to anyone with an address.
We don't like Doctors anyway (maybe we should say I don't like um) if'n you have to go to a Doc. he gets you up on the table, drops your drawers and says, "Have you had this before" and if you say yes, well, he says "Then you got it again" and gives you a bill for 47 dollars and 50 cents, I ask him what was the reason for me having to drop my drawers, when all I came in here for was a wart behind my ear, and he said "I always like to start from the bottom, come back in two weeks".
You can bet the next time I go in, if I ever do, is, tell him I got Locomotor and am pretty close to gettin' the St. Vitus's Dance, the doctor I have been to a couple of times is so slow thinking, before we could tell him it was just a joke, he would be pumpin' out my blood, my drawers down and on the X-Ray table standin' over me sayin' "Have you had this before ?, if so well, you have got it again, come back in two weeks".
Now here is a good one for ye, that is if you have "Worms" "Dubbel's" Menthane Vermifuge, Purely Vegetable and a cleansing and strengthening medicine for the digestive system. Now this medicine is guaranteed to expel the worms from the system without pain or discomfort, all you have to do is follow the directions that comes on the bottle, but the main thing is "Shake Well Before Using" Here is the Warning they give on all their advertisements, "Beware of Counterfeits", and here is how you tell if it is the real thing, Blow in the glass of the bottle, the name G.E.Dubbel will appear on the side, It don't say what to do if old man Dubbel's name don't show up. The full price for this fine Worm remover folks is just one round quarter that's 25 cents at your local store. My old pappy never did worry about us kids as far as worms went, he loved to fish.
Well since it's hot weather here is one you may need, How to cure a snake bite>> Mix lard and sulphur to a paste and rub on the bitten place, onions and salt is also a good remedy: ALSO, and the most important part, give the person as much brandy or whiskey as the patient can drink, You know, we never thought of it 'till just now, our good ole Uncle Ben must have got snake bite walkin' home every night from work, but bless his old heart, he was always prepared, he kept a jug in his hip pocket all the time.
Well folks, remind me next week and we'll give ye a cure just in case you is bit by a mad dog.
If you remember we told you a fer piece back my old pappy's cure for a cold, was six X-lax, didn't really cure the cold but you dang sure was to scared to cough.
Another young man that used to pop-up on Town Hall Party now and then was Wynn Stewart, Wynn also did quite a stretch at George's Roundup in Long Beach, little ole Wynn and a voice that was unmistakable the second he started to sing on them there records, he had a lot of good ones, I guess, "It's Such A Pretty World Today" was about the biggest but my favorite Wynn Stewart song was the Harlan Howard song of "The Keeper Of The Key", one of these days we'll break out the books so we get the dates straight and do a story on Wynn.
AND-speaking of Harlan Howard, that booger wrote some great songs and still is we reckon, like the "Ballad of the Blue and Gray" and the one we mentioned above "Keeper of the Key" and to many to mention, and we have always liked just about everything that ole Harlan ever wrote that we have heard, about the closest time we ever came to really getting into a good fight was one night many years ago at a Honky Tonk in Long Beach, a guy sittin' next to me accused Harlan of being a singer, he finally took it back after I started twisting his arm >>>>But low and behold, here just a couple three months ago we received some play list charts from Sweden and the number one song on them charts out of about fifty songs was Good ole Harlan singing "Sunday Morning Christian". You know what ? "no what" we would really love to turn back the clock to yester-year and hear old Harlan on the radio singing again, and I promise God, we will never say anything about Harlan's singin' again.
Someone else that wrote many, many good songs was Johnny Bond, we never did hear Johnny laugh, if he thought something was funny, he would get that little smile on his face, I think Johnny wrote some of his songs with children in mind, a lot of them had a funny twist to um, the one that was about as pure Western as you could get was "Cimarron" and to this day is still a favorite with the Western singers.
If you were in California during the Town Hall and Ranch Party days then you will remember that Tex Ritter would always say Western and Country, the Turkey that came up with the phrase Country Western should be forced to eat asparagus while blowing soap bubbles in a water tank, It is either Country or it's Western, they ain't the same.
Another one that we need to break out the history books on is Autry Inman, I think about the first song we ever heard him sing was "Let's Take The Long Way Home" we had read some time ago that Autry had gotten into a little problem down south some place, what was it old Hank said, don't be throwin' stones if you live in a glass house, or words to that effect. anyway we really liked to listen to Autry Inman sing.
We have mentioned this book before but just in case you didn't see it, we'll do it again. Robert Mitchum was what the critics called an actor's actor, and we guess in his life time Robert played just about every character know to man kind except some of the vulgar dudes they have on the screen and on the T.V. today, Robert, according to his brother John was a gentle man but make no mistake about it that he could have you on your butt real quick if the situation arose.
Robert and John were real close, Robert would use John in every picture that he could, when the time came that the studios wanted Robert to do a T.V. series about a retired cop coming back to do some detective work, Robert told them, "Not unless I have a sidekick" and of course he meant his brother John, Now we think they only made two or three of these things for that series but then what else is new, if it is good, it is canceled, but anyway, I don't remember what it was called, we'll have to ask brother John, but they were good.
But what this is about IS >> "Them Ornery Mitchum Boys" The title of a book written by Johnny about him and his brother and other members of the Mitchum family, the book is full of pictures with, of course Robert and John, most all of the family members with stories about them, pictures of William Boyd (Hoppy) with whom Robert worked with in his Westerns and on and on, this is just really a good "Can't Put It Down Book" SO what we are trying to say here is if you would like to have a copy of this great book and have Johnny Mitchum to sign it for you just send us twenty bucks and your name and address and we'll pass it on to Johnny's people to wrap and mail it to you, you'll really enjoy the book.
Since we like all them Clint Eastwood spaghetti Westerns, I get them mixed up sometime as to who was in what but I think it was "High Plains Drifter" that John only had a couple lines in and it was a long time before we even realized it was him, anyway John was throwin' some bad guys out of the territory prison and through the big old wooden gates he throws their saddles out right behind them, one of the bad guys yelled back at him and said, "hey!!! where's our horses" ?? John yelled back "What do ye think you been eatin' this past couple years" (or words to that effect) I reckon the moral to that story is, don't go to prison ridin' your dinner.
Well, here's a little story for ye Pilgrim, A used to be friend of ours, (could still be if he ain't dead and we knew where he wuz') anyhow his name was Don Pippin and one night he told me this here little story, said his Aunt's name was Vivian Keith and she lived down there in Tennessee, one day he and his family was at her house while back there on vacation, now ole Pippin was a pretty fair song writer but Vivian was even better, at least luck wise with getting people to sing them, anyway that day that he was there Vivian said to him, "you know, I just can't seem to get the right tune for these words, you want to see what you can do with it "? He sat down at the kitchen table and messed with it 'till he got tired and told her he didn't think it was worth it and quit messin with it, some time went by we reckon and she got with another friend of hers and it didn't take him long to get the right tune to the words.
At the time we didn't know Don Pippin, or Miss Keith and it didn't matter, we were on a radio station in the desert when we received a record by a guy we knew nothing about at the time but it was a whale of a song he was singing and he was doing a great job of singing it so we played the heck out of it and the phones lit up, the guy doing the singing was named Duane Dee and it was just a great song.
Wasn't long before a young good looking Mexican boy's manager thought it would be a good song for his artist to do, even though his artist (so the story goes) was not crazy about the song and was really not knocked out about doing it and again (so the story goes) cut the song in a little ole garage studio, nothing big or fancy but a whale of a lot of soul and feeling unheard of as yet with a Mexican singing a country song in both Spanish and English, the singer or his manager one had changed the young man's name from Baldemar to Freddy and his last name of Huerta to Fender, renaming him after a guitar we reckon, we don't know where they got the Freddy, but it proved to be a good choice, anyway, the song that could have put some much needed bucks in our friends pocket he let slip away and Vivian Keith and Ben Peters had a smash to end all smashes with "Before The Next Tear Drop Falls"
The first recording we can find with Baldemar Huerta as the artist was on the Falcon label when Baldemar was know as the "El Bebop Kid" the song was called "Encaje De Chantilly" or in English the Big Boppers song of "Chantilly Lace" A man gotta do what a man gotta do, and we are happy that this man decided to change his stage name to Freddy Fender, it is a whole lot easier to remember and spell.
Freddy Fender along with three or four other guys that call themselves the "Texas Tornados" are still tearing up the stage and we are still a fan of Freddy Fender's from "Tear Drop" 'till now.
Cliffie Stone told me this story one day while he was kicked back puffin' on his pipe, he said when he had his office down on Ivar street in Hollywood a young guy used to come in every few days and sing him a couple songs, Cliffie said they were not bad, he just couldn't see them being hit material, after quite a while of this the young man gave up and moved to Nashville, right out of the chute three of the four songs that Cliffie had had at his finger tips were hits. We ask Cliffie how that made him feel, he said "well you know I've got that little ranch out there, when I first heard the first one I found an old boot of mine, I filled it full of sand, I tied a rope around the top and pulled it up a tree, I swung it out as far as I could and bent over in front of it and let it kick me in the A--".
You know, that is what could have happened to our friend Don Pippin, he might have put a rock instead of sand in that swinging boot and it kicked him over a cliff.
The Writer and singer that old Cliff let get away was Dallas Frazier:
But, you never know, when the person comes along that can pick every hit, it will only take about two days to make him the richest person in the world.
Rex Allen jr. is scheduled to be in Oklahoma , Gene Autry, Oklahoma to be exact come next month with a great line up of entertainers at Elvin Sweeten's Museum, if you are anywhere close you ought'a go, Ancel Cook (the Coors Beer and M&M commercial man) wants to get a few of us to drive down for the show, we have been chipping' in to raise enough money to pay him not to sing Freddie Hart songs at the show, but we ain't figured out yet how to keep him from singing on the way down, it's his van.
We are working on booking Don Hinson in Denmark and or Sweden one of these days in a couple of months, they wanted me to go and I said we would, just as soon as they get the bridge built.
I think we will go listen to Lum and Abner or the Lone Ranger and put away another pot of coffee, or maybe even GangBusters, remember that beating drum behind the opening of that commercial -L A V A- Lava soap brings you --- Oh well, them days will be no-more.
We'll see ye next time, but just in case we don't, take care of yourself
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